Bleeding Hearts Read online

  She’d rarely been allowed to clean herself when she’d been held captive. The Alpha pack had occasionally let her when she was bleeding or when she’d started to develop an odour about her. It quite often depended on their mood and standards. Some wanted her pristine and neat. Others didn’t care as long as they got to use her as they saw fit. Doll opened her eyes then.

  She hated that they were still with her, the Alpha Pack, in her head. There was no escape from her mind and the nightmares it contained and constantly reminded her of. It was the reason she just couldn’t trust Luke at his word. Even though she might want to. Doll turned around and put her back to the spray and felt it’s touch warm her skin and pelt down on her with a massaging rhythm. Doll sighed out loud. It was heavenly under the steaming water. Heavenly. She’d never thought a shower could mean so much to her as it did, then and there.

  The thought made her open her eyes and wipe her face down. She reached for the body wash and scrubbed herself down quickly and harshly rubbing at her skin. She could barely remember her life before a year ago. A knock at the bathroom door startled her as she stared at the door fervently.

  “It’s me Jer,” Jeremy said opening the door a little bit and sticking his nose in the room.

  “Jeremy.” He stuck his head around. “Okay for me to be in here?” He asked thoughtfully. Doll looked at him and smiled softly. Clearly he was having a more coherent day for once. “Of course. Did you get clean clothes?”

  “Luke gave me some tops for you to try on and some for me and there are hoodies too.” He said brining in a pile of neatly folded clothes. “Um and some jeans in there too. Plus socks. Oh and Jocks for me.”

  Doll stepped out of the shower and walked over to Jeremy, after he’d placed the clothing pile on the bathroom sink’s edge. “You’re the best Jer.” Doll said dripping water everywhere as she hugged him close to her. And Luke so far, wasn’t so bad either, she noted looking at the clothing pile.

  “No. you are.” He replied hugging her back and resting his head on her bare shoulder. They pulled apart and Doll jerked her head towards the shower.

  “You have got to try that thing.” She said reaching for a towel.

  4

  When Doll walked into the kitchen, clean and fresh faced, her hair combed back and straight off her face. In his white t-shirt and a long sleeve flannel shirt open over the top and a pair of his faded blue jeans on and rolled up at the ankles, Luke sucked in his breath. It was like that smile he’d only gotten to see once. Just the one time. It was pure honesty and real beauty that was shining through on her. If she appeared to let it. Maybe her defences were down.

  And he could smell his shampoo and body wash on her too. His eyes travelled lightly over her before he looked away. He didn’t want to stare at the way her breasts hung, her nipples taunt and tight pressing through the t-shirt material. Obviously Doll did not have a bra on. It made his mind wonder to what else she wasn’t wearing and he shook his head and he mentally told his werewolf to back down, immediately. He didn’t want to be so damn disrespectful to her.

  “Smells good.” Doll commented walking over to the kitchen table and surveying the pile of bacon in the middle of the table on a plate. He caught himself before muttering that she smelt good too. Doll looked at the bacon longingly, her mouth watering. She wanted to eat all of it, her stomach clenched and unclenched, rumbling.

  “Yes, but the eggs were a disaster. I don’t know how to do them. So you got either fried or sunny side up.” Luke said pointing to some of the eggs in the frying pan he stood over. He looked at Doll, eyeing of the pile of bacon.

  “Help yourself, don’t wait for me.” He grinned, watching as she dove towards the plate and snatched up a strip of bacon in her bare hands and started eating it.

  “Sunny side up for me.”

  “What about Jeremy?” Luke asked glancing back over his shoulder at her.

  “Probably best to not mention the eggs to him.” Doll said crunching the bacon. Luke turned and looked her in the eye.

  “Seriously? “ He asked with concern creeping into his voice.

  Doll let slip a small smile at him. “Gotcha.”

  Luke laughed back at her. “Got me good. So is um, is Jeremy, special?” He asked her softly, turning serious again.

  “Special?” Doll muttered frowning back at him, starting on her second piece of bacon.

  “Forget about it.”

  “Oh, you mean….special-special.” Doll said glancing back out the kitchen doorway. She could still hear the shower running.

  “Yeah.” Luke said finishing up the eggs and slipping them onto a plate and putting it on the kitchen table.

  “No, he’s just,” She paused eating and talking and hesitated. Holding Luke’s gaze. “He’s been through a lot bad stuff.” Luke nodded his head in understanding at all she wasn’t telling him. Did that mean Doll had witnessed it and it had affected her? Had she been through bad stuff too? He wanted to ask her, it was beginning to eat him, the questions and need for something from her. Like that honesty she’d let slip twice now around him. The real her.

  “How do you know him?”

  Doll finished her bacon and picked up another piece. “We grew up together.” She stated with no further explanation. They both turned their heads towards the direction of the bathroom as the sound of the shower stopped. Doll downed the rest of her bacon and looked around them at the cupboards for glasses. Luke let her open every cupboard and rattle around in them; he could feel the nervousness coming off her. Talking about Jeremy and her connection had put her ill at ease, again.. Searching for glasses was a distraction mechanism.

  “What about you?” Doll asked from behind a cupboard door.

  “Me?”

  “Is it just you, by yourself here? Anyone else in your life?” She asked closing a cupboard and opening another. Luke pulled out a chair and sat down on it and grabbed a plate. Doll produced two clear glasses and walked over the fridge. Then looked back at Luke and ducked her head as she reached for a third glass back out of the cupboard for him.

  “Well yes I live alone here, this is my place if that’s what you mean. Bachelor. But I have two younger brothers, one older brother.” He watched her shoulders tense briefly. “A sister and my dad, the leader of the Seattle Alki.” He watched as she stilled completely from her task of pouring milk and looked at him wide eyed.

  “You’re father is pack leader? So that means…” Her voice sounded horse even to her. She had to get a grip on her fear and stop freaking out. But she wondered if she’d somehow ended up in Seattle because her inner werewolf had driven her towards other werewolves. A pack no less. What had she done to her and Jeremy, leading them here? Was she jumping from one bad situation into another one? Her heart hammered and she willed herself silently to calm the fuck down again.

  “I’m from the leading pack family, yes.” Luke said softly trying not to be obvious about watching her reaction. She wasn’t dealing well with the new information. Why? “Doll,” He started, it was then that Jeremy walked into the kitchen, lifted his nose and inhaled the smell of the cooked food.

  Doll seemed to unfreeze then and looked at Jeremy rather than Luke. “Dig in.” Doll encouraged him flashing a quick smile at him. She continued pouring their glasses of milk and Luke let his question die a natural death on his lips as he tucked into the breakfast too.

  “You’re gonna have to show me how to do poached eggs.” Luke muttered with a mouthful of food as Jeremy loaded up two plates and handed one to Doll first. He watched their interaction with curiosity. Doll accepted the plate and pointed out his glass of milk to him, which he picked up and immediately sipped from. It was clear to Luke that they cared very much for one another. Doll picked up a knife and fork set and flicked her elbow into Jeremy and nodded at the other set of cutlery on the table. Jeremy picked up the other set.

  “So what do you two have planned for today?” Luke asked looking from one to another. It didn’t surprise him at all that i
t was Doll who answered for the both of them.

  “We thought with our new found money,” She said looking at him deliberately “That we might buy a few new clothes, since, we only have the ones we arrived in and look for some sort of work.”

  “Right.” Luke said rolling to his side slightly in his seat and pulling out his wallet out of his jeans back pocket. “Money.” He said pulling out the promised cash and looking at Doll, whacking the bills back and forth in his hand. He didn’t mind handing over the money to her. He just knew that if he did, she would be gone. She looked at it and back at him. “A deal’s a deal right?” He said pushing it towards her.

  “Thanks,” Doll muttered snatching up the money and pocketing it quickly. Luke nodded his head and stared at her. She looked good in his clothes. The flannel shirt suited her. Doll noticed Luke looking her over. “We’ll get your clothes back to you once we’ve got a new outfit.” Doll said quickly, suddenly no longer interested in her breakfast.

  “Yeah, please.” Luke muttered, cutting into his egg. Even though he didn’t care about the clothes. Still it might mean they’d come back and that meant, more time with Doll. They ate most of their breakfast in silence, until it occurred to him that he could help both of them out further. “I could make some phone calls for you, see if anyone needs workers.” He said brightly looking directly at Doll. She looked surprised and suspicious, again. Damn hadn’t he earned any trust with her yet? Not even after last night and this morning? “You need work right? I live here, know people, I could see what’s going around.”

  Jeremy cleared his plate and set his cutlery down on it. Doll looked at him and saw the tension in his body. Luke meant well, but Jeremy and her had an understanding. They would never relay on anyone except each other, ever again. It was just them. They didn’t want to owe Luke or be in his debit. Luke saw it in her before she even looked at him and told him. “Thanks but we’re alright. We’ll manage.” Luke cut into his bacon aggressively harsher than needed.

  “We should go now.” Doll said after she’d finished her breakfast and drank her milk. She pushed out her chair and stood up, with Jeremy mimicking her action as they gathered up their jackets off the back of the chairs.

  Luke stood up with them. “Well,” He hesitated. He really didn’t want either of them gone. Because he didn’t like the idea of werewolves who couldn’t help themselves. And these two seemed to barely get by. Luke had been raised to help others because of his position in the pack. Clearly Doll and Jeremy were just scraping by if that. It didn’t seem right for werewolves to be so damn hopeless. But Doll he could tell, was a hard case and Jeremy, he looked practically psychologically damaged, and Luke had picked that up in less than the few hours he’d known them.

  “Um, if you need help with anything, just give me a call.” He said suddenly pulling out a business card and flipping it over to the blank side and pulling a pen out of his shirt pocket and scribbling a number down on it. He handed it to Doll. “That’s my cell phone, call anytime. It’s always on. And the other side, if you can’t get a hold me and need anything,” Luke watched as she flipped the card over in her hand. “That’s my father’s garage. I can be found there, or ask for my father, Troy Charleston.” He said watching her finger the card’s edge.

  Doll nodded her head slowly and pocketed the card. Luke knew she wouldn’t call. Her pride wouldn’t damn well let her. “Come on Jer.” They slipped their jackets on and moved quickly from the kitchen into the hallway.

  Luke walked behind slowly. “Or you know, if you guys need a place to sleep tonight, again, just come by the house. Nobody’s going to be using that bed any time soon. So you know…” He said shuffling with his hands in his pockets as they all walked up to the front door. “And if I’m not here, there’s a spare key, in the utility box on the side of the house, near the garage.”

  Jeremy opened the front door and walked out as quietly as he’d come in. Doll turned to Luke “Careful, you sure you want tell a couple of street werewolves where your spare house key is? What if we rob the place? Fleece it all for cash?”

  “What if you change the locks and squat illegally inside.” Luke supposed back at her with a smile.

  Doll smirked back at him. “You should be worried about that one, that kind of sounds appealing to me, having shelter from the cold.”

  Luke laughed lightly at the absurdity of the idea and Doll doing that. He saw her heart. She was a good girl. Jeremy was proof alone of that. “Really? You think I should be worried?”

  Doll leaned back through the doorway towards him. “Let you in on a little secret Luke.” Luke leaned towards her so they were close. The act felt more intimate to him than when she’d been running her hand up his clothed thigh the night before. “All the clothes Jeremy and I own, we stole. Every single piece. Both of us. What little money we had before our deal with you, we robbed someone of. What does that tell you about us?” She said pulling back and looking at his poker face, and holding his gaze, before turning her back on him without waiting for his response.

  Luke watched them leave until they were out of his sight. “It tells me you’re survivors.” He muttered answering her question, closing the front door. “And you’ve probably been forced by circumstance to do what you have to do to get by.” The thought displeased Luke Charleston, greatly.

  5

  Doll and Jeremy walked all over Seattle. Doll knew there were things they should, in terms of finding out how to get more money coming in for them. Looking for work. Looking for accommodation, places to stay. But she thought that it could wait. At least for an hour or so.

  They’d been on the move for so long, they needed time to relax. Unwind and remember there was another world that they were a part of. Running away was exhausting and all it did was keep them in a state of remembrance that Doll didn’t want to be in.

  Meeting Luke last night had proven, that she’d lost touch with what felt like humanity to her. She couldn’t even make small talk for god sakes! Since gaining freedom, it felt to Doll like she hadn’t really gained that much. She didn’t have a home, she didn’t have a pack beyond Jeremy, she didn’t have an idea what would happen from one day to the next. There was no security in that. She didn’t know how to talk to people, take people, like Luke Charleston. Both her and Jeremy had avoided having much interaction with people, where possible. And hadn’t that shown last night with Luke? She asked herself, sighing. He’d been a good guy. Done nothing bad to them, meant no ill towards them and she’d acted like a royal bitch to him. Because she just didn’t know any better.

  They deserved to enjoy themselves and she wanted to make Jeremy happy, for at least one day. If it was all she could give him after everything they’d gone through, then that would be her gift to him.

  They needed to just enjoy that they were free. So Doll had suggested that after they bought themselves another set of clean clothes, a backpack each and a bit of food to stash in their backpacks, that they do some tourist things. That they pretend, in their new found freedom and lives, that they were tourists. It was an indulgent luxury, but after the hell they’d been through in their lives, it was well overdue.

  They found a tourist information office, picked up a map of the city that showed them the layout of Seattle, as well as the city and showed everything from hotels, motels and hostels on it, to tourist attractions and public transport. Jeremy had taken to the idea and agreed and gone so far as to buy himself a disposable, camera. “In order to truly be a tourist.” He said to Doll. “Tourists carry camera’s everywhere.”

  “Good point.” She replied as they figured out the first thing they would do was head to the Seattle Art Museum’s Olympic sculpture park. Where they wandered along the open grounds, looking at bizarrely abstract pieces of chrome and metal that didn’t make much sense to them. After wandering the sculpture park they again consulted their map for their next possible tourist attraction.

  Luke picked up the dirty clothing that Doll and Jeremy had left behind and s
tarted to throw it into his laundry hamper. Maybe he could donate the spare clothes to a charity op-shop or something. He picked up the white long sleeve top that Doll had been wearing and sniffed it. Inhaling the remnants of her scent. It was strong once he got past the obvious body odour of it. She smelt like water on glass after a summer storm.

  He looked at the bed, that they hadn’t slept in and again he found restlessness in him when he thought of his two house guests who had breezed into and out of his life in less than twenty four hours.

  The front door to his house opened and Dale walked in calling out to him. Luke looked at the white top in his hands and was still staring at it when Dale walked in and immediately lifted his nose and sniffed.

  “Who is she?” He asked straight away. Luke dropped the top on the bed and looked over at his best friend. Dale was the only shape shifter he knew who could differentiate sexes based on an individual werewolf’s scents. Luke had no idea how he did it so easily without needing to even touch an item to pick up the scent. Dale claimed to have an extra sensitive nose.

  “You mean, who was she?” Luke fired back at him.

  Dale screwed up his face. “Ouch. She cut and run out on you buddy?”

  “Something like that.” He muttered. Wondering why he’d chased after her last night, but not this morning. Part of it was stubbornness. And as much as he had said it wasn’t about sex last night, there was a part of him that could not deny he was attracted to the challenge of taming something about Doll.

  “She a nobody then?” Dale asked watching his friend. Luke looked across at Dale, his features hardening. Luke had the thought that it didn’t seem fair to label Doll that way. “Or she just the one who got away?” Luke looked back at the clothes in his hands. She might have gotten away from him, but in the short period of time he’d gotten to meet Doll, he could tell getting to know her, would be hard work. It would not come easily and it would require, possibly more patience than he had. He was not schooled in patience.